My spouse is deploying now what!!!!

These are the words every military spouse dreads "I'm Deploying" what does that mean to you and what should you do now?

I will do my best to walk you through my process. I do not do these all at one time and neither should you. That will only add to your anxiety. I provided a list that ideally you can print, and check off as you go. You can bookmark this link to always find this information http://thereservistswife.blogspot.com/p/spouse-is-deploying-now-what.html

 After three deployments in five years I feel like a veteran, BUT if you have anything to add please let me know!

FIRST and most importantly BREATHE!!!!!!!
As a reservist they rarely mob up overnight, I have never heard of it, but I will say rarely as there may be exceptions. For my husband it has been a multi month process every time.

Second- try and get an estimated timeline from your hubby. I say estimated because we all know they won't give exact dates because of OPSEC. This will include the training dates, including an AT which they usually do before every deployment. Try and get a date he will go on Title 10 orders.

Title 10 is the key date to when most of your benefits kick in!

If possible try and schedule in a mini vacation, or full blown one in IF you can before he leaves. My Army families look into Strong Bonds for a way to get away with minimal spending! They pay for hotel mileage/air fare/food/and hubby gets paid to go. Great way to get a get away, they have couples and family versions.

Third- find a time to do family photos. We do these before every deployment, god forbid, but if the worst happens, those pictures will be priceless, they are also something for you to cling to during the deployment. Look into Op Love Reunited if you qualify! The photos will also be needed for other opportunities later. If you cant afford professional photos, go to sears, jc pennys, or walmart, something is better than nothing, and they usually run specials. You can also call sears and JC Pennys and ask if they hold onto the photos, so if you cant afford the CD right this second, you may be able to get them later.

Fourth- ****Paperwork- If you do nothing else do this! You will need a Power of Attorney (POA) for anything that is solely in his name, but you will also need it for almost everything-like ID Cards, or benefits! Make sure both parties have a updated Will, JAG can do this for you, and if they are having a Yellow Ribbon 1 event they can do them for you there, but I suggest you get them separately so you don't miss any info during yellow ribbon 1, every base should have a JAG office.

Fifth- ATTEND Yellow Ribbon 1- There is so much info offered at this, if its your first deployment and its offered you absolutely should go. You will learn lots about programs available and benefits available while your deployed. I can't speak to the other yellow ribbon events, they didn't have them for our previous two deployments, and the third that dates changed so often it wasn't feasible to go. A friend went to Yellow Ribbon 2 and said it was only worth it if the location was good, in her case Anaheim, ca, in my case it went from San Diego (cancelled) Nashville (cancelled) and finally landed in Detroit, in December, um no thank you we are southern state people and I had no desire to buy all the cold weather clothes necessary to make that trip! So take whatever location and date they give you with a grain of salt until it is confirmed and reservations are made!

Sixth- TRICARE benefits- you need to decide if you want all of some of your family to go on Tricare Prime. This is not automatic, you are placed on standard automatically, which has a copay and a deductible, but if you want Prime you need to go in on base (my preferred method) and fill out a form to go on Prime. If its done before the 20th of the month it takes effect on the 1st. If its done after the 20th, it takes effect the 1st of the following month.

Seventh- Money Money Money---usually a difficult conversation, but it is necessary. If you do not already handle the bills, sit down and learn what gets paid and when. I am linear I like to make a sheet that says on the 1st we get paid x amount, and bills a,b,and c get paid with it. Then on the 15th we get paid y amount, and bills d,e,and f get paid. It really helps especially if your not used to doing it. Remember to budget money for your spouse while they are away, my husband gets a budget of $50 per pay period, however, he usually ends up needing around $100. So now i just try and budget $100 a pay period for him. As much as it seems like they should get everything they need there, they have expenses too, hair cuts, snacks, phone cards, etc. Its also important to remember until they go on Title 10 or orders in excess of 30 continuous days your spouse does NOT get full BAH, they get a drastically reduced BAH II, which is roughly 1/3 of the regular amount.
Here is a calculator to determine BAH amounts http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm

Eight- Remember to breathe, are you still breathing?

Nine- Take life one day at a time! You will need to find a way to tell the kids, we are pretty straight forward, we sat down with the older one and explained what was happening when it was happening, and showed him a calendar. We do not do the countdowns till daddy's home which you can find out why in a separate post.

Ten- If necessary you may need to find Childcare. There is a program called NACCRA/Child Care Aware that will either help you with respite care 16hrs a month for stay at home moms, or provide discounts for you if you work.

Eleven- Once you have orders, order your photo quilts/pillows immediately from Armed Services YMCA. These are free but they take a long time to get. I ordered in August, our turn to be made can up in October, and they were delivered Christmas Eve. So there is quite a time to get them so ordering immediately is important.

Twelve- Order your Daddy Dolls (or better yet have your FRG Leader order them for all the kids in the unit) They are free, and are usually available immediately for Army, and as funding permits for the other branches. http://www.ogah.org/

Thirteen- Go to your nearest base, even if its not your branch. I am an Army wife and I go to an Air Force base. Find the family office on base "FRG" for Army or "AFRC" for Air Force, not sure what navy and marines call it. Register with them as a family member and let them know your spouse is deploying, find out what programs they have and get on their email lists. There are wonderful opportunities every month here for spouses of deployed or remote soldiers. We usually have one event every month that's free, and then there are two separate dinners offered as well. They also have special programs that come up so its very important to get your name out there. If you Facebook, look for their Facebook pages, my base is very active with numerous different pages, but its a great way to find out about different events going on.

Fourteen- Go hug you spouse and your kids, it will be ok, you will get through this, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other!

Fifteen- SCRA- Learn what this and how to use it. Every credit card and loan you have you need to notify them your spouse is deploying (their name does have to be on the account) and provide the orders. You should get a minimum interest rate reduction down to 6%. My particular mortgage company, its already below 6% so they dropped it to 3% and for mortgages this stays into effect for a year after they return! USAA i believe dropped it down to 4% for our credit card. Do this, its money in your pocket!



That's what I can remember for now. I will add as I go!

First Tee Program ~ Free Golf Lessons combined with core values and confidence!

The First Tee is a program open to military youth (national guard and reserves included-not just title 10). Through golf lessons the children are taught core values and confidence. This seems to be a wonderful program.

It is open to children 7 years of age and older. They usually have equipment that can be borrowed as well.

My oldest has been randomly asking to learn to play golf, it was kinda out of no where when he started. Since the interest has continued I agreed to let him try it out!

Check out your local MWR/AFRC/ Golf course on your installation to see if the participate!

Gift Packages for the Wives and Mothers at home!

Today I got a lovely surprise from my husband via Full Circle Home.  Deployed Soldiers can go online and request a package be sent to their wives or mothers if they aren't married for Christmas. It was filled with love and 12 days of Christmas themed! It was so nice to see the love and care they took to wrap each individual package. I almost didn't want to open it! I especially loved the bracelet from Things Remembered that was engraved with "Love from (duty location)"! Its those little touches that make it extra special! Not sure if they have any left for your men to order, but definitely worth keeping in mind for next year!

Professional Photos by local photographers for deployed/deploying military!

Operation Love Reunited provides 2 photo sessions for families of deployed soldiers to a certain combat zones. The above photo was one taken shortly before my husband left for Afghanistan on his last deployment.

The two session consist of a pre-deployment or during deployment photo shoot (not both). They are to be patriotic in theme and if the service member is present in uniform. I actually really liked this requirement because my husband is VERY handsome in uniform yet I have hardly any good pictures of him in it. The second photo shoot is a homecoming shoot.

From the first shoot a small pocketbook will be made of the photos and sent to the service member directly. The program is meant to be a morale booster for them so the photographers are NOT allowed to give you the photo books. Many do optionally offer discounts and these vary from photographer to photographer. Mine at the time offered a 50%  discount off her hefty fee, the CD still cost me $250 dollars, but the pictures were amazing and priceless, I think she may actually be more now.

I have not only been a participant in the program I have also been a photographer for it, and it truly is a very rewarding program!

Photo Quilts for children of Deployed Servicemembers

Operation Kid Comfort is a program through the Armed Services YMCA.  They make the cutest quilts or pillows depending on the age of the child, 7 and above receive the pillows.

This is a lengthy process but it is well worth it! We requested our quilts in August and our name came up in October, so they are still being made now in December. So request it AS SOON as you can. When you get those orders and have the pictures ready! I knew it was coming for a few months ahead so I started collecting photos, and I even took the kids out and took some new ones with their dad right before he left to include with them. I also used photos from his previous deployment that Op Love Reunited took (more on that in the next post!).

These will be a true treasure for years to come, so I strongly encourage everyone to get the requests in. It doesn't take much time at all. IF for some reason your photos won't upload, email them right away! I had this issue during the last deployment and just let it go when I shouldn't have, but I tired again and had the same issue, but I was able to get an email response about it very quickly then was able to email in my photos.

SO what are you waiting for go request yours now! http://www.asymca.org/index.php/what-we-do-3/national-programs-services/operation-kid-comfort/okc-quilt-request/

The link takes you to the online request form for families NOT near any of these locations...

ASYMCA of Alaska
Camp Pendleton ASYMCA
Southeast Family ASYMCA
Fort Bragg/Pope AFB ASYMCA
Watertown Family YMCA
Killeen ASYMCA
ASYMCA of Missouri
Junction City ASYMCA
Honolulu ASYMCA
San Diego ASYMCA

If you are near one of them then you need to request your quilt from that location directly!

YMCA Memberships Free while on Title 10 orders!

The YMCA has an amazing program if it works for you! While your spouses is deployed/Title 10 orders you can get a free membership, they go for 6 months and then renew for 6 months if you hold up your end of the bargain. When you take the membership you agree to go at least 8 times a month (basically twice a week). 

That doesn't seem like that much and it is amazing program. I signed up the last time my husband deployed but for us the nearest Y was 20 miles away (almost as close as the nearest gym that's 15 miles) so I figured no biggie. Unfortunately at 5 months postpartum it just didn't happen. I will say that it was a fabulous place to do my sons birthday party, they swam for an hour and then we had an hour in the room for a few games cake and presents, and there was no cleaning on my part, so that's an excellent resource to keep in mind!

You can get more information about the YMCA here and how to sign up. It was pretty easy!
http://www.asymca.org/index.php/what-we-do-3/national-programs-services/ymca-military-outreach-initiative/

Free Doula while Spouses are Deployed!

There is a really neat program out there called Operation Special Delivery they provide No Cost doula services for delivery when spouses are deployed.

I haven't personally used this service but I know having support when you are delivering is crucial!

Check them out at:
http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/