My spouse is deploying now what!!!!

These are the words every military spouse dreads "I'm Deploying" what does that mean to you and what should you do now?

I will do my best to walk you through my process. I do not do these all at one time and neither should you. That will only add to your anxiety. I provided a list that ideally you can print, and check off as you go. You can bookmark this link to always find this information http://thereservistswife.blogspot.com/p/spouse-is-deploying-now-what.html

 After three deployments in five years I feel like a veteran, BUT if you have anything to add please let me know!

FIRST and most importantly BREATHE!!!!!!!
As a reservist they rarely mob up overnight, I have never heard of it, but I will say rarely as there may be exceptions. For my husband it has been a multi month process every time.

Second- try and get an estimated timeline from your hubby. I say estimated because we all know they won't give exact dates because of OPSEC. This will include the training dates, including an AT which they usually do before every deployment. Try and get a date he will go on Title 10 orders.

Title 10 is the key date to when most of your benefits kick in!

If possible try and schedule in a mini vacation, or full blown one in IF you can before he leaves. My Army families look into Strong Bonds for a way to get away with minimal spending! They pay for hotel mileage/air fare/food/and hubby gets paid to go. Great way to get a get away, they have couples and family versions.

Third- find a time to do family photos. We do these before every deployment, god forbid, but if the worst happens, those pictures will be priceless, they are also something for you to cling to during the deployment. Look into Op Love Reunited if you qualify! The photos will also be needed for other opportunities later. If you cant afford professional photos, go to sears, jc pennys, or walmart, something is better than nothing, and they usually run specials. You can also call sears and JC Pennys and ask if they hold onto the photos, so if you cant afford the CD right this second, you may be able to get them later.

Fourth- ****Paperwork- If you do nothing else do this! You will need a Power of Attorney (POA) for anything that is solely in his name, but you will also need it for almost everything-like ID Cards, or benefits! Make sure both parties have a updated Will, JAG can do this for you, and if they are having a Yellow Ribbon 1 event they can do them for you there, but I suggest you get them separately so you don't miss any info during yellow ribbon 1, every base should have a JAG office.

Fifth- ATTEND Yellow Ribbon 1- There is so much info offered at this, if its your first deployment and its offered you absolutely should go. You will learn lots about programs available and benefits available while your deployed. I can't speak to the other yellow ribbon events, they didn't have them for our previous two deployments, and the third that dates changed so often it wasn't feasible to go. A friend went to Yellow Ribbon 2 and said it was only worth it if the location was good, in her case Anaheim, ca, in my case it went from San Diego (cancelled) Nashville (cancelled) and finally landed in Detroit, in December, um no thank you we are southern state people and I had no desire to buy all the cold weather clothes necessary to make that trip! So take whatever location and date they give you with a grain of salt until it is confirmed and reservations are made!

Sixth- TRICARE benefits- you need to decide if you want all of some of your family to go on Tricare Prime. This is not automatic, you are placed on standard automatically, which has a copay and a deductible, but if you want Prime you need to go in on base (my preferred method) and fill out a form to go on Prime. If its done before the 20th of the month it takes effect on the 1st. If its done after the 20th, it takes effect the 1st of the following month.

Seventh- Money Money Money---usually a difficult conversation, but it is necessary. If you do not already handle the bills, sit down and learn what gets paid and when. I am linear I like to make a sheet that says on the 1st we get paid x amount, and bills a,b,and c get paid with it. Then on the 15th we get paid y amount, and bills d,e,and f get paid. It really helps especially if your not used to doing it. Remember to budget money for your spouse while they are away, my husband gets a budget of $50 per pay period, however, he usually ends up needing around $100. So now i just try and budget $100 a pay period for him. As much as it seems like they should get everything they need there, they have expenses too, hair cuts, snacks, phone cards, etc. Its also important to remember until they go on Title 10 or orders in excess of 30 continuous days your spouse does NOT get full BAH, they get a drastically reduced BAH II, which is roughly 1/3 of the regular amount.
Here is a calculator to determine BAH amounts http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm

Eight- Remember to breathe, are you still breathing?

Nine- Take life one day at a time! You will need to find a way to tell the kids, we are pretty straight forward, we sat down with the older one and explained what was happening when it was happening, and showed him a calendar. We do not do the countdowns till daddy's home which you can find out why in a separate post.

Ten- If necessary you may need to find Childcare. There is a program called NACCRA/Child Care Aware that will either help you with respite care 16hrs a month for stay at home moms, or provide discounts for you if you work.

Eleven- Once you have orders, order your photo quilts/pillows immediately from Armed Services YMCA. These are free but they take a long time to get. I ordered in August, our turn to be made can up in October, and they were delivered Christmas Eve. So there is quite a time to get them so ordering immediately is important.

Twelve- Order your Daddy Dolls (or better yet have your FRG Leader order them for all the kids in the unit) They are free, and are usually available immediately for Army, and as funding permits for the other branches. http://www.ogah.org/

Thirteen- Go to your nearest base, even if its not your branch. I am an Army wife and I go to an Air Force base. Find the family office on base "FRG" for Army or "AFRC" for Air Force, not sure what navy and marines call it. Register with them as a family member and let them know your spouse is deploying, find out what programs they have and get on their email lists. There are wonderful opportunities every month here for spouses of deployed or remote soldiers. We usually have one event every month that's free, and then there are two separate dinners offered as well. They also have special programs that come up so its very important to get your name out there. If you Facebook, look for their Facebook pages, my base is very active with numerous different pages, but its a great way to find out about different events going on.

Fourteen- Go hug you spouse and your kids, it will be ok, you will get through this, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other!

Fifteen- SCRA- Learn what this and how to use it. Every credit card and loan you have you need to notify them your spouse is deploying (their name does have to be on the account) and provide the orders. You should get a minimum interest rate reduction down to 6%. My particular mortgage company, its already below 6% so they dropped it to 3% and for mortgages this stays into effect for a year after they return! USAA i believe dropped it down to 4% for our credit card. Do this, its money in your pocket!



That's what I can remember for now. I will add as I go!