Coping with Stress/Deployments

In light of the tragedies at Dyess Air Force Base, I felt like something needed to be posted. There is so much out there about: oh the FRG should have helped, someone should have checked on her more, etc. Maybe they should have, but it is a reality that we can be invisible if we choose to be.

The other component to that that I wanted to specifically address was this aspect for a reservist's wife. Often times we are not near a base, or it is not our branch so while they help us out its not the sense of community that you may get on active duty. FRG's are often not very active, or not from your area either which makes it even more challenging. Personally I know with my husbands first deployment, the FRG literately forgot i existed on a regular basis until I would call and ask for help on how to do something, or in the most extreme case how/where/when for homecoming!

I didn't want this just to be oh what a tragedy, oh its so hard for us post. I wanted to put out there information on where to get help if you should need it. I think it is wise to know *before* there is a problem what your resources are and how to access them.

~Military One Source~ 1-800-342-9647
This is a HUGE resource that is fairly under utilized. For this post I will focus just on Mental Health component of it, more later on a separate post.

Military One Source offers 12 free sessions per issue per counselor...so if you are having issues with your spouse that's one issue, but depression would be another issue. There are three different types, you can choose the one that works for you best. They offer: face to face, telephone, and online counseling. So if you need some sort of help but aren't ready to go to an office just yet there is this bridge. After 12 sessions then you would need to go to tricare.
FAQ's about the counseling!


~Tricare~
Again I'm a HUGE proponent of knowing whats out there before you have a problem, I'm also a planner. So one of the things I suggest for everyone is to go to Tricare's website and find a provider NOW. Just do it so you have someone already if you should find you need it. If you already have that provider in mind you might pick up the phone a lot faster than if you didn't.

Find a provider here!

You do NOT need a referral to seek mental health services regardless of your plan (Prime/Remote/Standard/Reserve Select) for your first 8 visits, so just pick up the phone if you need help. After those 8 visits your provider will seek out authorization to continue.

I do take my own advice, I found a provider that works for me, I went to their website and I bookmarked their page just so I have it.

~Battle Buddies~
Your husband probably has one why shouldn't you! Making friends can be hard but I highly encourage you to find another military spouse who has some idea of what your going through, it helps if you have kids if they also have them, or the opposite,  If you have kids you may be so overwhelmed you don't know which way is up, if you don't you may be very lonely. Everyone struggles at some point, your probably lying to yourself if you say you don't.  I lied to people all the time, its that whole keep your head up put on a strong face mentality, but the person that hurts is me!

Its also invaluable to have someone you can talk to. Many times your spouse was that person but as many of us know or have been told, we don't involve our spouses in those conversations anymore or as much because we don't want to distract them. So having someone just to vent with is priceless!


If I can think of anything else I will update this post but I think Knowledge is also power so I wanted to put it out there...
From Military One Source-

Quick Tips for Recognizing Depression

Depression can be very serious, but it is treatable. Here are some common symptoms:

• Persistent sadness or anxiety. Feelings of irritability, panic, or restlessness. Episodes of crying or tearfulness.
• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, or helplessness. Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt.
• Not wanting to leave the house. Withdrawal from friends and family.
• Loss of interest or pleasure in life. This might include loss of interest in sex or other activities that were once pleasurable.
• Changes in sleep or eating patterns. Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or sleeping too much. Sudden weight loss or gain.
• Decreased energy. Lack of energy or motivation
• Difficulty concentrating. Memory loss, difficulty making decisions.
• Persistent physical symptoms. These might include headaches, digestive disorders, or back pain.
• Alcohol or substance abuse.
• Thoughts of death or suicide. Contact a health care professional immediately if there are thoughts or talk of suicide. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at1-800-273-8255.If five or more of these symptoms persist for more than two weeks, it's important to contact your health care provider for an evaluation. Effective treatments exist.

Your Family Support Center can give you information and support on many issues that affect service members and their families. And Military OneSource, a free 24/7 service from DoD, available to all active-duty, Guard, and Reserve members and their families, provides information and referrals plus face-to-face counseling. Call 1-800-342-9647 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting FREE 1-800-342-9647 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or access www.militaryonesource.mil.